Monday, September 15, 2008

Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

This is blog is 3 years old today. For the last two years I have done something special and lighthearted on this anniversary and this year will be no different. And what do I intend to do? Well…. I plan to shamelessly steal a theme Skeptico used a few years back for his Blog’s Birthday.

And so…. let's ask some folks enagaged in autism internent debate....

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Maria: You say that the evidence does not suggest that the chicken crossed the road. However, the researchers did not in fact assess this question with the permutations of anti-icing surfaces, humidity control, cloud coverage, breed of chicken, maturity of said chicken, relative wind velocity, relative traffic that day, the traffic consisted of a hybrid vehicle, the quality testing of said vehicle, and whether the chicken was in fact bearing any coconuts…… taken into account.

Mark Blaxill: If you think your ridiculous critique of the theory of chickens crossing roads is valid. You should submit it to an academic journal. We shall now thoroughly discuss my supplemental and supporting research of this issue here on my blog.

A certain set of researchers: We were quoted as citing an article that shows chickens do in fact cross Freeways. Unfortunately, somebody….. showed that our supporting article merely had a chicken crossing a deer path in the woods. However, we feel that deer paths and superhighways are quite similar and see no need for further clarification on this issue.

Michelle Dawson: Has anyone bothered to ask what the ethics are of chickens crossing roads?

Alyric: Did the chicken choose of its own free will to cross the road?

McEwen: Chicken crossing a road… chicken crossing a road…. Now dears, that reminds me of an amusing anecdote that happened last week on the way to the grocery store….

Kathleen Seidel: [Kathleen locks her vision upon the road, and the road suddenly becomes mobile and passes beneath the chicken, leaving it startled but completely unharmed.]

Autism Diva: The chicken was running away, because it didn’t want to be chelated. Smart chicken.

Do’C: If you have evidence of chickens crossing roads, you may present it, otherwise….. have a nice day.

LB/RB Team: We are going to go ahead and suggest that it was to get to the other side.

Interverbal: You ask “Why did the chicken cross the road?”

“Chickens cross”

Is an assumption on your part. You are assuming what you should be proving, and therefore employing the fallacy of begging the question.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Admires Kathleen's Uber Powers of concentration! (Though he suspects Michelle and a few others mentioned here has them too.)


12:04 PM  
Blogger Kathleen Seidel said...

I'm laughing so hard right now I can barely breathe.

4:14 PM  
Blogger Michelle Dawson said...

Leading autism advocate: "If the chicken can cross the road, it's not a real chicken."

9:07 PM  
Blogger KeithABA said...

hehehe, a good laugh!

9:51 AM  
Blogger LIVSPARENTS said...

John Best:
Chickens crossing the road are a clear indication that the chicken is toxic and is in need of a chelating agent...

Kristina Chew:
If we can love the chicken no matter what side of the road she is on, she would be happiest...

I'm gonna say the chicken is still in the middle of the road...

Harold Doherty:
I think you need miss the fact that there are chickens that can't cross the road, until you recognize that fact, you are just biased toward the chicken cross-abled...

4:30 PM  
Blogger David N. Andrews MEd (Distinction) said...

Dr. Buttar: the chicken had difficulties crossing the road, so we decided it needed an Ayurvedic treatment. We could not, however, find its urethra or its bladder, so we injected some of my piss into it instead!

11:32 PM  
Blogger laurentius rex said...

How does one define chicken and is there a road? can the essence of chicken and road be seperated or are they both part of the same literary trope that does not exist in Aymara?

If a chicken crosses the road but nobody has seen it, did it really exist at all?

5:12 PM  
Blogger Joseph said...

Funny. I was thinking what a good Larry Arnold impression might be, but I see he did one himself :)

Andy Wakefield: I can prove the chicken crossed the road for $800,000.

JB Handley: That was my road. I'll sue the chicken's ass now.

Harold Doherty: That chicken might have crossed the road, but it shouldn't pretend to be speaking for all chickens.

Jon Mitchell: I had a chicken that was able to cross the road successfully, but it was only average at it. That was unbearable.

Maria: You claim there's no evidence the chicken crossed the road, but here I have 100 abstracts for you to read that vaguely suggest otherwise.

Dan Olmsted: Roads don't exist where chickens live. And even if they did, chickens don't cross roads.

David Kirby: If there's no drop in the number of chickens crossing roads by 2007, that would deal a severe blow to the road-crossing hypothesis; unless, you know, I come up with ridiculously implausible excuses.

Me: The chicken crossed the road because that's simply the way things turned out. Statistically, a certain number of chickens will cross the road no matter what.

8:37 PM  
Blogger David N. Andrews MEd (Distinction) said...

"Jon Mitchell: I had a chicken that was able to cross the road successfully, but it was only average at it. That was unbearable."


He really needs to get his head out of his arse and look at how fucking lucky he actually is compared to most of us!!!!

8:49 AM  
Blogger David N. Andrews MEd (Distinction) said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

8:52 AM  
Blogger David N. Andrews MEd (Distinction) said...

Bob Wright: The fact that this chicken can't cross the road is proof that it's living a life of lonely despair and agitation!

8:52 AM  

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